I'll pour out my soul and He will prove His mercy.

Under Construction

2009-12-22T15:36:00.004-05:00

I've had a hard time trying to think of a word to describe time, especially large, recent chunks, because I feel like...how the heck am I supposed to describe the most constructive time of my life up to this point? With the awesome opportunity of being an RA to 37 girls and discipling one of them, changing my major (which has really had a lot more affect on me than one would think), and really just the transforming of my mind, things are just different. The way I think is different, the things I think about are different, my temper is different (slower, thank goodness)... It's hard to communicate that in response to the token end-of-the-semester "So how's college?" question (especially being at the Springs for break, that seems to be the default question among everybody). But I guess I'm learning that I don't have to tell people that, maybe they'll just see it. So, the past two months were definitely...constructive. I like and use that word because it makes me think of Philippians 1:6, "And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus." Immediately, this verse takes me back to summer of 2001 when it was our Camp Caleb verse and the theme was "Under Construction". Right after that, I think of the many conversations around this verse that Chee and I have had this semester. I remember the night that we realized what the verse was saying, that every day, until the day of Christ Jesus, we are being perfected, our faith is being purified, we are under construction...every day! Not just for 4 years at college, not just for one or two years as an RA, not just while we're in Argentina for a semester, every day! It just blew our minds that Christ chooses to work on us every day, until His return. Now, I understand that you may be waiting to hear something that you haven't heard before, but that's it. That, and this entire semester has been finally knowing things because God's grace is allowing me to experience them, not just hearing it a billion times every day. So that's a little update since October. Sorry, blog posse.

On another note, my reading list for break is pretty ambitious, especially since it doesn't include the multitude of books (I think) I'll be getting for Christmas. I usually look forward to break being a time when I don't have to read, but I guess the introvert coming out in me is excited for lots of time by myself reading books that I've been wanting to read all semester for as long as I want.

+ The Unlikely Disciple by Kevin Roose (almost done!)

+ Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper (working on it, but stopped to focus on the previous and because it was uncomfortably convicting. Full intentions of finishing it, though.)

+ Hearts of Fire by the Voice of Martyrs (again, working on it)

+ Pursuing the Christ by Jennifer Kennedy Dean (gift from my sweet mom for Advent)

+ The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning (given to me for Christmas by my fantastic RD/ARD.)

+ The Cross and the Switchblade by David Wilkerson (in pursuit of gripping the coming summer's challenge :))

+ Sacred Singleness by Leslie Ludy (to learn for Amber, but also for myself)

This break, I, with all joy anticipate my Savior's construction in my life through working at the Springs, time with friends, and following up with relationships at the restaurant. I do not doubt what He can do, but more than that, I hopefully await and pursue that construction.

On a side note, the other day in session, one of my PreKies prayed to open up class, and I loved his prayer so much that I copied it down so I wouldn't forget. "Jesus, I hope this lesson is going to be good, and Jesus, I hope that all the people that get here today are safe, and Jesus, I hope You're having fun making our homes. Amen." :)

October

2009-10-16T11:35:00.006-04:00

I sit here typing this from my twice-as-big-than-last-year dorm room, and I look to my right and see out my window a perfect picture for a brochure-the vibrant orange, red, and yellow leaves of fall dusting the ground, kids walking to class but not without stopping to laugh and chat with professors on the way. I look to my left and see the door that leads to 37 girls that I’ve been given. Thirty-seven girls to live with, to laugh with, to giggle and stampede down the hall and have dance parties and break quiet hours with. Thirty-seven lives to learn from, to show Christ to, to love, to discipline, to disciple…I look straight ahead and see the “home” that my dear roommate and I pieced together. Behind me, there is Chemistry homework, books to read for midterms, paperwork to fill out, an agenda FILLED with one-on-ones, meetings, and due dates, and a bag to pack for a cluster trip. But at my side, my Bible is opened to Luke 10:41 where it reads, “But the Lord answered her, "Courtney, Courtney, (okay, not really, but go with me) you areanxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

“Rock of Ages, when in want or rest // My desperate need for such a Savior I confess // So pull these idols out from my heart embrace // Rock of Ages, I need Your grace.”

I miss my Gracies...

2009-05-26T00:35:00.002-04:00

So I feel that I’ve successfully avoided updating for a significant amount of time. It’s amazing I haven’t gotten kicked out of the blog posse. :) Okay, it’s been about three weeks---three unbelievably long, uneventful weeks since I’ve been home. It’s been great to be home with the fam and spend time with them and get home-cooked meals every night and do sporadic little things with CarrieAnn and Daniel. It has not been fun, however, going into town every day for five hours from restaurant to store to shop and hear “No, I’m sorry” over and over and over and put in applications and never hear back from people. It’s then when I start to wonder what God meant when He said He will provide. Not necessarily doubting that He will, just wondering if we chose to interpret that our own way when He meant it another.
Not having a schedule and a list of things to do every day has been uncomfortably frustrating. I waste so much time it’s sick and I’m always thinking about how much I wish I were other places. It’s really frustrating because I feel so ungrateful and selfish, especially when I know that I am so blessed in where I’m at compared to so many of my friends from school. So, once again, I'm learning what it means to be grateful. :)
On another note, I feel like I need to stop reading books about famous Christians like George Muller or John Newton or Amy Carmichael because A) it makes me feel like a terrible Christian, B) it makes me feel like I need to be a slave trader or something equally as bad (like a complacent college student, maybe? Heh.) for God to change my life around, and C) it seems like I’m missing or just not getting something about what the Christian life is. I don’t know if that made sense. Oh well.
And lastly, I don’t know about you, but tonight’s episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 was one of the saddest, most frustrating things I’ve ever seen. That’s all!

Winona Lake is home.

2009-05-05T00:23:00.001-04:00

I start feeling nauseous every time I start thinking about Thursday. I’ve been waking up in a panic several times every night since Friday night. I can’t concentrate on studying for finals because my heart is so anxious. Every time I see people moving out, I want to shove them and their color-coded boxes back in their rooms. Every time I listen to “Ungodly Hour” by The Fray, my insides sink and weigh about 10 pounds more. I’m going "home" for three and a half months, and then I’ll be back. I’ve moved nine times in my life, across the country, across the ocean, and it’s never been this hard.

I've got the black lung

2009-04-27T11:35:00.002-04:00

I’m so thankful….

-for projected stormy days that turn out to be full of sunshine and blue skies

-for the complete restoration of bruised relationships

-for dried apples

-for my wonderful co and her sweet picture taking abilities (I can’t take credit for this one)

-that God uses things like illnesses to continue to show us that we need Him

-that my voice is gone so I can listen more :)

-for so many uncertainties all at once so I have to trust Him

-for days that I only have the strength to sleep and read the Living Word

-that God doesn’t give us everything we want

-that God is still good even when I question His goodness.

-that struggling means perfecting

-for His mercies that are new and great every morning. Great is His faithfulness!

In My Love, Be Lifted High

2009-04-02T16:24:00.002-04:00

These past couple of weeks I’ve been really convicted about how much sarcasm dominates my humor. Maybe I’m just now noticing it because I’m not around my friends that I probably caught it from anymore, maybe I’m noticing it more and more because I’ve been praying and asking God to show me where I am un-Christ like, or maybe my humor has just always been like this. I suppose I never thought it was bad because it was always clever and around people that would join in and laugh with me, and if I ever really hurt someone, I could just tack on my favorite “Oh, I’m sorry, I was just kidding” phrase and all would be forgiven. So this morning during chapel, we were singing the bridge to “Came to the Rescue” by Hillsong over and over and over. Seriously, we must have sung it at least 10 times. But it was so powerful because it got louder and stronger and more sincere each time, so by the tenth time, you’re seeing people yelling and pumping their fists and praying, “In my life, be lifted high! In our world, be lifted high! In our love, be lifted high!” And I stopped singing because I realized that my Lord is not lifted high in my humor, He is not lifted high in my homework, He is not lifted high in my attitude. He must be high. He demands to be lifted high.

“Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!’” -Proverbs 26:18-19

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” –Proverbs 19:14

“See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.” -Hebrews 3:12-13

Speechless

2009-03-18T00:02:00.003-04:00

Have I mentioned lately that I absolutely love the awakening of spring? All week, (yes even the day we got treacherous downpours of rain) I’ve felt anticipation building up within me, like something in me knows that something big and wonderful is about to happen. The promise of new life, of something so exciting it’s making my bones dance! Even now, we’re going through a cold spell, but as I look out the window, spring is coming! The birds are flying around and singing, the grass is getting greener, the contrast of the bright blue sky and little red berries on the trees is so charming…

I was talking with my growth group leader and RD last week about how I really feel like my life couldn’t possibly be in a better place than it is now. I go to a college that I absolutely love, I have the most wonderful, godly, encouraging, loving friends that I get to call my brothers and sisters, I get to be an RA of the best hall on campus with the best RD, co, and cluster that I could ask for, I have the BEST family in world with such amazing godly parents that love me so much…I’ve been so blessed with a church family here at school that truly shows what the Body of Christ is supposed to look like, I have the amazing privilege of choosing a leadership team for my hall next year…and oh, those are just the big things that God has been lavishing on me in the past couple of weeks! It seems like every day I’ve been so overwhelmed with God’s goodness that I seriously don’t know how to handle it!

"And I am speechless, I'm astonished and amazed
I am silenced by Your wondrous grace
You have saved me
You have raised me from the grave
And I am speechless in Your presence now
I'm astounded as I consider how
You have shown us
A love that leaves us speechless!"

Old school music I know, but it's just been running through my head over and over lately. :)

Well isn't life just a bowl of cantaloupe!

2009-03-11T18:41:00.002-04:00

Well I’ve finally gotten to the downward slope of the mountain of assignments, exams, books, papers, and all the other fun things that come with my hundred thousand dollar education. Midterms are this week, but thankfully I only have seven…haha just kidding, I just have ONE! So with the lymphatic system out of the way, I finally have some time to write about everything that the Lord has been doing, and my my, has He been up to some stuff! First, I would like to express my excitement that SPRING IS COMING! Ever so slowly…but it is! The weather is starting to get really crazy, it was 70 degrees a couple of days ago, but today it’s a chilly 33 degrees. I’m just thankful that the sun is up for a couple more hours every day and the walk to the mailroom isn’t too unbearable anymore. There have also been numerous spottings of robins flying about and I am often escorted to my psych class by their cheery morning songs. Mmm, I love those songs and how much they remind me of my Jesus’ new mercies every morning. In other news, I’m in one of those wonderful times when I feel so much like a child of God. (Don’t get me wrong, I do often, but there are just those times when it feels like He spoils me so much!) Allow me to explain. Anyone who is around me for more than five minutes will get to hear how much I love my school. I talk about it ALL the time and I believe my dear friend Elizabeth and I have concluded that “I love Grace College” is the sentence that comes out of my mouth the most. However, to make a long story short, there are a lot of frustrations that I have with the nursing program here. It got to be so frustrating that over Christmas break, I was talking to my parents about the possibility of transferring to another school after this year. It was something that I really didn’t want to do, but was considering. So anyway, I felt like I had these two options, and I didn’t really like either one of them. Oh man…I LOVE it when God has a third option up His sleeve the whole time. I get back to school, and there is this night when I am just stressed to the max. Those days rarely come, but when they do, I’m so thankful for them because they always bring me to my knees and to my Father’s feet. So I have all these things on my head and all these decisions to make, and I’m telling you, as soon as I said amen, Jesus began answering and opening doors. All this to say that Option C was more than perfect (of course!) and I get all four beautiful years here at Grace! Aaaaand that leads me to my next exciting piece of news! For some reason, God has put it in the minds of the Residence Life team that I would make a good RA for next year! WHAT?! I know, it’s ridiculous. It’s so funny, the very same week that I was sitting and eating a bowl of Reese’s Puffs telling Curtis every reason why I could NEVER be an RA was the same week that I found myself sitting in a room being interviewed by the 3 women RDs on campus to be an RA. Ha. God is CRAZY. I can’t WAIT for next year, to be in Indy Hall (The HOUSE, woo!), for my co and RD and I to grow so much closer together, to be so desperately dependent on God every day, to be challenged in a way I’ve never been before, to be a servant to thrity some girls…oh man. :)

Oh, and on a side note, I'd much more fond of cantaloupe than cherries, thus the revision of the statement. :)

A Most Wonderful Gift!

2009-02-02T23:12:00.004-05:00

So for about the past 2 hours I've been trying to find the motivation to listen to a two hour long lecture on cardiac output, and I've discovered that in the time I've wasted, I could be done and fast asleep (wow, do I sound like my mother or what). So, instead of being getting that off my mind, I figured I'd at least do something. I've actually been doing significantly better this semester with self discipline and just being intentional with my time. My schedule is so much more time consuming this semester, but it's been so good for me. It definitely keeps me on top of things...except for lectures on cardiac output. :)

Well last night, I was reading part of Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot which is a collection of letters that she wrote to her daughter upon the event of her engagement. So often I feel ridiculous thinking about singleness and marriage and stuff, but honestly, when you go to a college like Grace, few other things occupy your mind. Ha, just kidding...kind of... But anyway, there was this section that absolutely just struck my heart:

"But having now spent more than 41 years single, I have learned that it is indeed a gift. Not one I would choose. Not one many women would choose. But we do not choose gifts, remember? We are given them by a divine Giver who knows the end from the beginning, and wants above all else to give us the gift of Himself. It is within the sphere of the circumstances He chooses for us-single, married, widowed-that we receive Him. It is there and nowhere else that He makes Himself known to us. It is there we are allowed to serve Him..."

I've always been thankful for my singleness, because I have the bad habit of thinking that relationships hinder you from growing in your relationships with others (friends, family, God etc), but rarely have I given thanks for it because it is where Jesus has allowed me to serve Him. I also have the bad habit of living in the past and future, wishing I could have gone back and done things differently, and wishing I was at a point that has yet to come. As I learn to serve my Jesus where I am both physically and emotionally, my earnest prayer for all my single friends is that you would do the same. Look at singleness as a wonderful gift, as such a rich opportunity to spend so much time growing in a whole new level with Christ, a place where you are not bound to anything else but your service to Him! :)

Playing Catch-Up

2009-01-16T02:28:00.002-05:00

GOODNESS it’s been a while! Ha, the last time I wrote, I was anxious and excited about going home, and curled up here on my favorite, most comfy chair at home (where I’ve been for the past two weeks) with a piping hot cup of coffee, I’m getting anxious and excited to go back to school…well, getting there. :) So! I need to play catch up on this busy, crazy, and EXCITING past month and a half! I'd also like to say that I'm trying really hard to put pictures up on here, but it's just messing up like crazy and I'm so frustrated I'm about to sin...so I apologize for this long, pictureless post. :)

So, after feeling like I was the ONLY person at Grace that didn’t get to go home all semester, Curtis and I FINALLY got to go home for Thanksgiving. It was SO good to be back home with my sweet family for some short, but wonderful and much needed rest and good food… I would never know how much I would wish for it in the coming three weeks. When we got back to school, the COLD weather, HEAVY amounts of work, and PRESSURE of finals came, and oh, it CAME. Ugh, I can just remember thinking every day during that last week, “It’s SO close to being over…but it won’t be for so long!!!” That must have been one of the longest weeks of my life! But soon enough, Curtis and I were once again, rushing out of Winona Lake (this time, on the complete spur of the moment trying to beat the second fold of a huge ice storm) and making haste to White Sulphur Springs! As it always is, the Springs was beautiful, fun, full of food and rest and laughter and smiles and delightful friends. It was so exciting to see faces that I hadn’t seen in FOREVER, and faces that I had seen just that summer but hadn’t heard their voices in forever!

Definitely one of the high points of my break was getting to have the opportunity to catch up with one of my good friends and see how much God has been working in his life. For about the past year and a half to two years, I knew that he had really been struggling with his commitment to Jesus and pretty much just with life. Seeing him every once in a while during that time, he seemed to get worse each time until he hit rock bottom this summer. As we sat and talked, he told me how his life completely changed because this summer was the absolute worst and best period of time in his life. In every area of his life, terrible thing after terrible thing slammed into him one by one; his sister passed away in August, he and his best friend’s friendship blew up and they no longer talk, his youth pastor left his church, he was forced to stay at his school for an extra semester, his foster sister’s dad took her away, making the hope that his family would soon adopt her impossible…I mean there was quite a list. And then he began to talk with the most overwhelmingly evident joy about the point where he knew he needed to make the conscious, definite decision about who he was going to live for, what that meant, and how he was going to do it. He talked about how Jesus was teaching him all over again what it meant to be a Christian, how absolutely difficult it was, but how Jesus completely filled him and made him new again. Later that night I dissolved into tears as I watched and listened to him sing, “Your Love is Strong” by Jon Foreman at the top of his lungs during family hour. I’m so thankful that the Lord would let me see such an example of who He is and what He does to claim back His own.

The Springs brought another beautiful Christmas with my family, wonderful talks, sweet trips to Hebrews, downtown Bedford, and Little Barn, Christmas caroling, lucrative amounts of square dancing, surprise engagements, ringing in the new year by sharing Scripture with three of my favorite girls, a crazy trip across the border to go bowling in Cumberland, and the traditional lunch at Jean Bonnet on the last day.

But the fun didn’t stop when we went home to North Carolina! As always, going home means home cooked meals by the best cook in the world (don’t even try to argue with me), LOTS of games with the fam, hanging out with my sister, talks with my mom, and surgery! Ha! A couple of days after we got home, I got to get all six of my wisdom teeth taken out which led to a REALLY sore back and mouth the next day, LOTS of meds, lots of slurred speech and lots of applesauce and soup and…applesauce and soup! I still can’t talk or eat like I used to, but hopefully it won’t last too much longer. I finally got to experience a full yawn the other day…one that I didn’t have to stop because I couldn’t open my mouth that wide!

I keep trying to soak in these last moments of rest, these last opportunities for walks and talks, for curling up in a chair and journaling, for 2 hour naps in the middle of the day, for reading books that I’m not required to write a paper on, for hanging out with my siblings, for home cooked meals…all the while trying to prepare my mind to get back to writing papers and waking up at 6 and studying for exams and negative 14 degree weather and mentally preparing myself to be challenged in every way... and then I start thinking about chapel and my prayer class and seeing my friends and growing and changing and learning, and I get really excited! So, it’s a roller coaster in my mind…trying to prepare myself for ACTION, and setting my hope FULLY on the grace that will be brought to me at the revelation of Jesus Christ! Ahh! I’m just so excited to see what the Lord is going to do this semester! :)

Finally

2008-11-26T12:58:00.002-05:00

I'm going home. :)

Our Father's House

2008-11-20T15:40:00.002-05:00

I went to a familiar place today, somewhere where I hadn’t been in a long time. Since the beginning of the semester, I’ve been inconsistently volunteering at a nearby soup kitchen in Warsaw called Our Father’s House. As the end of the semester has gotten closer, my attendance has become less frequent. I don’t think it’s the amount of homework or stress I have that determines if I want to go or not. No, there’s always hesitance after my 11:00 Bible class gets out when I ask myself if I’m going to go or not. And I don’t know why. It’s one of the most refreshing places I’ve ever been. It’s so relaxing to get off of my beautiful, safe, and comfortable campus and go and hear old ladies talk about their insurance problems and their “beautiful grandbabies”. J But it’s also one of the most uncomfortable places I’ve ever been.

So once again today, I got out of my 11:00 Bible class and scanned my planner to see if I had anything to distract me from going, and of course there was, because there always is something to do, but something grabbed me, and I said to myself, “I need to go.” Avoiding anything that I knew could put off me going, I ran to my car and headed out.

As I walked through the half attached door, the familiar waff of stale coffee and cigarette smoke greeted me, along with the faces of Charlie, Maggie, and Doris (three of my favorite people to see there) and my brother’s familiar voice. I saw Kim Kim and Kay serving food and Corey manning his dishes, just as they always do. I saw a new pair of incarcerated cooks throwing Sloppy Joes and macaroni salad together, gathering that Jeremiah had been released, and the old man with one leg sitting at his usual spot. As I sat down to talk to Doris, Charlie, and Maggie, the sweet sound of an accordion playing “Jesus Loves Me” danced around the room.

I had forgotten how much I love being there. I had forgotten that I so often see Jesus more evidently in that place full of lost, homeless, and struggling people than I do on my Christian campus. I forgot what a blessing it is to be around people that don’t act like they have everything under control.

The man who was playing the accordion moved to the piano and began to play many of my favorite hymns (ha, well, if you know me at all, you know that pretty much all hymns are my favorite)… Just As I Am, Onward Christian Soldiers, In the Garden, Tis So Sweet, Jesus, Friend of Sinners…it was such a beautiful and unexpected blessing. As I made more coffee, listened to the piano and Curtis share Jesus with a couple, I kind of smiled to myself thinking how much Jesus knew I needed this. I love that He just kind of sits back and waits while we’re running around being busy with life. I love when He shows us that He is still so very much at work, even when we are so blind with ourselves and our busy schedules and can't see it. I love that He doesn’t scold us, but he blesses us so beyond what we expect. I love that He is so abounding in love…

Indiana Weather

2008-11-18T11:22:00.007-05:00

I've seen both of these this week...ahhhh! It's so crazy!!!!
I forgot what winter is like, and going from Alabama to Indiana is quite a weather shock.

I learned many valuable things yesterday about winter in Indiana, like...

1. What a defroster is, and where it is in my car.

2. I need to let my car run at least 5 minutes before going anywhere.

3. Never have less than a quarter of a tank of gas, because it'll freeze the pipes.

4. The windshield wiper fluid freezes.

5. I need to break about 10 seconds earlier when driving in snow.

6. What a "scraper" is.

7. It takes about 10 extra minutes to get dressed in the winter.

8. Sperry's are not going to be sufficient shoes, and my pea coat will get me through November 1st.

9. Winter in Indiana goes from November to March.

10. It'll still snow in April.

11. The snow in Winona Lake doesn't fall, it pummels you in the face.

12. It gets below -20. Easily.

13. Hibernation is not an option for college students.

This is going to be such an enlightening experience.

Day of Worship

2008-11-13T16:12:00.003-05:00

Today was our campus wide Day of Worship. Classes were cancelled and we had a beautiful three hour chapel. It came at such a good time, such a time when I needed it most. I so often get caught up with the stress and frustrations of deadlines and exams and papers, work and friends and studying...but lately that hasn't even really been my biggest frustration. My heart has been so restless, so blind. Every day I ask the Lord to show me Himself in a new way, to see His mercies that are new every morning. Every day I cry for Him to show me a little bit more of Himself, and then get frustrated because I feel like He doesn't. Every day I feel like I'm in a game of hide and seek with Jesus. When I'm "hiding" Jesus runs finds me and shows me how sweet He is and how rich His love is, but then almost immediately it's like He says, "Okay, now that I've found you, you have to come find Me." So often I'm just running around in circles trying to figure out what Jesus wants from me, because I must be doing something wrong if I can't see or hear Him. I must be doing something wrong if I can't mourn over my sin and see how wicked I am. I must be doing something wrong if every time I'm in His Word, I can't see His sweetness and immense love. I must be doing something wrong if every time I begin to cry out to Him, I get frustrated because I have no idea what to say and I feel like He's not doing anything to comfort me. I must be doing something wrong if I'm more tired when I'm "on the right track" than when I'm not...

Today was a sweet reminder to be still. Amidst the frustrations, amidst the uncertainty and unknowingness of my human self. As we watched clips from The Passion of the Christ, I realized that I had forgotten that Jesus loves me SO MUCH. I had forgotten that! I knew it in my head, but I had forgotten it in my heart. I had forgotten who He is. Who He was, who He is, who He will be forever.

"Lord, help me, for I am often lukewarm and chill; unbelief mars my confidence and sin makes me forget Thee...Grant me to know that I truly live only when I live to Thee, that all else is trifling." -The Valley of Vision

Oh midwestern winters are coming.

2008-11-09T13:11:00.006-05:00

This is a pretty good picture of how I've been feeling lately.

But I still have reasons to smile. :)

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:37-39

This Too Shall Be Made Right

2008-11-05T13:34:00.003-05:00

“This is my Father’s world, o let me ne’er forget that though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet. This is my Father’s world, why should my heart be sad? The Lord is King, let the heavens ring! God reigns, let the earth be glad!”

These words were in my head all day yesterday it of course being Election Day. With anxious and uncertain feelings flying around my brain, I was fully aware that the outcome could be disappointing, and when the results were announced, my heart dropped in my stomach and my head was filled with thoughts of fear, animosity, and danger. I suddenly became overzealous for the sanctity of life, marriage, the security of our “religious” freedoms, and the significance of this war, even more so than I ever had before. It would have been so easy for me to join with everyone else who was making absurd comments like “Today, freedom and liberty died” or “Our country is going to erupt into war and death and destruction.”

Soon afterwards, two of my close friends and I went into another room to just talk and share what was on our hearts and minds and pray. As we shared our thoughts, we were encouraged by each other’s hope in Christ. My friend Betho talked about when the Israelites had leaders all over the spectrum, good leaders, bad leaders, leaders that followed God, leaders that ran from God. They had kings, and judges, and leaders of armies, and a kingdom or nation far more struggling than ours. But whatever the state it was in, certain things remained the same. The people still rebelled, God still used anyone and anything to bring glory to Himself, He was still faithful, and He was still good. As we prayed, tears of uneasiness, uncertainty, and anxiety filled our eyes…filled our blind eyes, filled our earthly eyes. Our eyes that cannot see what Christ sees, our eyes that cannot expect to see the great things that our Lord has for us and this country, our eyes that cannot conceive His power and His ability.

While I watched the results throughout the night and saw people everywhere across the country react to who got what state and how many electoral votes were going to what person, I saw these people put all their hope into this one person. During McCain’s concession, I saw his supporters’ distraught and woeful faces, like there would be no hope for tomorrow. When I watched Obama’s victory speech, I saw his supporters look at him like he was their savior, like he is the chosen one coming to rescue us. I saw all this hope put into one fallen, flawed person. Never have I felt so not of this world. Never have I felt like such an alien to this earth. Don’t get me wrong, I am so proud to be an American, I love this country, and I was so proud to have been able to vote in this historic election, but I left the TV so joyful and thankful that my allegiance is to a good and all-powerful and loving God. A God who knows the needs and desires of each of His children, and works in each of their hearts according to His perfect and beautiful will. He is my leader, He is all my hope and surety, and I know He will never be shaken or overthrown. He is my God.

“Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord, O my soul!

I will praise the Lord as long as I live;

I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.

Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there isno salvation.

Whenhis breath departs, he returns to the earth; on that very day his plans perish.

Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God,

Who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them,

Who keeps faith forever; who executes justice for the oppressed,

Who gives food to the hungry.

The Lord sets the prisoners free; the Lord opens the eyes of the blind.

The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down; the Lord loves the righteous.

The Lord watches over the sojourners; he upholds the widow and the fatherless,

But the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.

The Lord will reign forever, your God, O Zion, to all generations. Praise the LORD!

-Psalm 146

Yay!

2008-11-04T15:16:00.003-05:00

I have been sucked into blogging world again! :) I was peer pressured into it by my many friends who have one. We'll see how it goes because I've never been good at thoughts and I'm even worse with words. I always feel like I have to write something profound in these to keep people reading.

Well, it is a GORGEOUS autumn day today. High of 73, bright blue sky, and vibrant, rich colored leaves scattered and dancing on the ground. I love that when October comes, so many trees start changing colors, and then the leaves all blow away, but then so many new colors come with the beginning of November! It's like autumn part two! Quite a few times I've been driving and I'll see a tree that catches my eye, so I'll pull over and take a leaf, smell it, and stick it in my Bible. Fall is SO beautiful when you haven't had it for over 2 years. It's so interesting, fall is when things are dying away, but it looks just the opposite, it looks like it's when things are coming alive! I hope I'm as beautiful as these leaves when I'm dying. :)

One of my absolute favorite verses is Romans 8:10-11: "But if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you."

Oh man, I love Jesus so much...to give LIFE to our mortal, dead bodies!!! Wow. :)